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Change and contradiction

My favorite thing to contemplate is change. From a tree in the winter to now full of leaves and fruits to the sun at sunrise and sunset. The most beautiful sights are closed related to the change. In the same time I am afraid of change in my own life. I tend to resist it until drains my energy and then I let it happen. So contradictory view I love the most what I am the most afraid of.

Change in my life brought out new parts of me, new people and new opportunities. I am grateful for the change and also try to fight it. Fear and the need of stability that I am well aware is just an illusion are behind it and I am learning to stay with them (fear, guilt, expecting the worse). And choose change that for me encompasses freedom and life. Looks that my life has a good chance of not being what I wanted or envisioned, and is so much better.


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