I finally watched Midsommar, but not that triggered the idea of this post. An interesting movie and in depth analysis of how one can end up in cults (or more specific groups organized around a specific ideology in which one becomes a part of the entity that is group with the loss of the personal autonomy, and individual free choice, as the choices will be taken for the benefit of the group). What triggered the post is the number of comments seeing the individual arc of the female main character as the trip to personal power and self expression. That in the movies overlaps with becoming a future part of a group that with all validation and support of the individual emotions- demonstrative empathy- is also restrictive in terms of manifesting real boundaries or choices. Is that real power? Is the connection to the uncomfortable feelings and grief so difficult that we are willing to give up on parts of ourselves to get some emotional validation and connection? Can someone else really help us navigate our own grief or that is ours to cross and others can offer only support while we trust in ourselves to do the guidance? Even not aware where exactly we are actually going? Is that how we end up from a codependent relationship to the next in which we learn more and more to disengage from our uncomfortable emotions and face our truth. That if we have to do that to make that connection work then the connection is not healthy and therefore sustainable. Because we can hide from our emotions only for so long/ and with serious consequences to our self esteem.
My take on this and I for sure been on the codependent side of the road is that grief, anger and fear are like any other emotion mine to pass through. And I can make myself feel validated and safe in the process. Do I appreciate help, yes. Do I need it to be fine not anymore. And that for me is the real power. Truth is relative, is a mixture of perspective, habits, knowledge and emotions. And hence my truth is mine to validate. To share the opinion and perspective of course I appreciate it, but validation is personal. And in a way that is what for me the empowering of the Midsommar main character could have been. Because she is afraid of being abandoned- pretty normal reaction to her situation- and that she could not deal with things alone, while passing to the hardest part of grief alone. In a way validating herself that she could be ok alone and in the end being afraid of that. And some roads can only be traveled alone as the journey the truth and the learnings are personal. An inspiration to connect while waling through the shadows.