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Betrayal wound-trauma

I have experienced betrayal trauma by myself and up to recently I could not have named it and represent in a nutshell dissociating from the emotions cause by repetitive damaging behavior in order to protect the image of a certain relationship (with parents, caregivers, partners) over the reality of it.

Can lead to over justification, fantasizing or self blame because the preservation of relationship feels more important than the personal emotional or physical safety. Overcoming it- required to learn to trust, build intimacy and companionship, involves taking it in the reality of it happening, and navigating the pain, anger, rage, disillusionment, disappointment, fear and depression that will bring up-and that we originally dissociated from.

Is a long and hard at times process from personal experience, but for sure can open a new view and perspective about our safety and connection in the world. When life lets us down maybe the answer is not to let it down.

When the betrayal wound happened in childhood-like in my case- can lead to a full blown personality that avoids connection (either by becoming distant or aloof, or like in my case by becoming a people pleaser and a sort of mimicking ghost or others behavior), because being liked means being safe even when that is rather unsafe for emotional stability and development. The strategy become a lifestyle that worked in my childhood and not much now. And that is a process.

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