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Feeling victimized or the role we play in our suffering

Feeling victimized can be an active choice and that brings power in a subtle way, power coming from getting help because the others might pity us and more because we do not have to change. Feeling victimized is an easy way of not taking responsibility for the situations we do not like including on a small or large scale our lives.

For sure traumatic events can happen and is likely will happen to us during our life, and that does not mean we should take the blame for why those events occurred or how different people reflect us. Sometimes that reflects where they are in their own lives and has nothing to do with us. Many times the things are not personal, other people have different agendas, lives and personal journey and we are not responsible for those. But I feel we are having a choice in seeing how we cope with what happens to us. Why and how we choose to have or not have boundaries, to put up with a certain situation or person or event, to interfere in other people lives and so on. Not choosing is also a choice.

I am aware that some situations are so hard that any type of choice is difficult (financial dependency, sickness, taking care of an impaired relative) and I have all my compassion for that. That requires radical acceptance- accepting what it is and doing the best with what it is. Some other situations can be changed, and even difficult that helps us heal and grow. Is the change from feeling a victim- to being empowered.

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