How? by just overriding my intuition and my perception and getting what seems like logical arguments to avoid what looks like an uncomfortable situation. For I uncomfortable situations are changes, saying no, and disappointing others. Gaslighting starts with fear, what happens if I really say my truth are jumps to shame and pain- I shouldn't because maybe the problem is I. And maybe it is not and maybe it does not even matter who the problem is, because the solution is not there. And I feel is a great recovery proof the fact that now I can give it a name and see how I actually convince myself out from what feels right and good for me.
I accept and embrace my fear- is normal, natural and sometimes bordering anxiety, my shame that I try to shift to guilt and my own pain and need of being accepted. There are mine and a part of a coping strategy that worked well at a point in life. I do not need it anymore but I embrace it as mine. First connect and after correct.