Leaving as a personal defeat

There were situations in my life when leaving was required ( situations that run their course, job requirements that did not fit, relationships that ended or were not working out for a reason or another). And even when I did leave after fighting that ending for much longer than good for me, I felt that leaving as a personal defeat, being not strong, loyal, motivated enough to fix something that was not fixable. Not with what I knew, had and could do. Somehow that feeling of defat stayed so part of me tried to return to those situations with more knowledge, experience and strength to fix them, even not only not fixable but way past their expiration. That kept me in a loop that left me tired, with loss of hope and ashamed, because if could have done it if only me being better. And that is trauma bonding.

Maybe is time to acknowledge and give myself permission to let those situation done and closed, because there is no coming back. As I am not the person from that moment and nether those people or situations. And sometimes the past is the past.