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Need of recognition, self righteousness and shadow work

I have been influenced by my need of recognition, of being the good child and being loved for that for a very long time. When making the figurine that is posted on my site, that shows the pain of not telling my own truth and feeling disconnected fro my heart I thought that was driven by control. But is actually driven by my need to be loved and feeling I am loved for my actions and my achievements and not for I. And that is actually not true, because I am loved even when wrong, and in wrong. Being the good child lead to some self righteousness and taking pride in the pain of not being fully in touch with myself. Through the shadow work I got more and more in contact with my own truth, and impulses and the many shades of gray and light and dark and also gave me some humility and love for all those sides. That does not mean I need to follow all impulses and express all shadow aspects in my actions, but to acknowledge they are there and that I have a choice, that sometimes is easier and sometimes more difficult to take. And that does not make me a hero but an ongoing work. I am really grateful for all the light and the dark and for the path and my path to come here. I am not the good or the bad kid, and no one else is. And that is the real love.

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