Probably this is the title of my healing journey, as the feeling of guilt and being something wrong with me were deeply connected. And that lead to other maladaptive behaviours that started in the first one of not being enough. After a convoluted journey I arrived to guilt- specific behaviour-action and shame-unspecific is something wrong with me in general and no follow up action. I learned the shame back home and in a way I am grateful I had it...manifested externally, because my parents went the other way around trying to shield from it and not being able to do anything about it. Has been a journey tapping through a lot of blocked emotions, behavioural patterns and ideas about the world, and is a journey that many of us share. And the cure from me come when I separated shame from responsibility, and sent love to the shame and accepted I had or did not have full, limited or any responsibility in the actions. And moving the constant self negative talk to critical evaluation in my cortical area. Not easy at all times, but rewarding because despite all the negative self talk I know only how to be me and I am fine the way I am. I am loved and I deserve love.
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