Stories, needs and change

Stories are those imaginary scenarios that I make about some future situations outcomes. Sometimes stories can also be about the past and reveal some blockages, but today I will speak about the projections in the future. As in my case those hoped projected expectations become a sort of a virtual reality based on some real needs that I can use to avoid looking at the real conditions in a day by day approach and I avoid to make adjustments and changes if possible so not to trigger my need of stability. And that eventually blocks me because blocks the change, and life is actually change. To give an example in the past when I met a partner at some point I made a projection of a happy relationship together. And I used that projection to pass over the parts of the relationships that were in some cases red flags. And from the need to keep the story alive I tried to change or control the red flags-aka codependency and from there a spiral down that grew day by day. The need was to be in a relationships aka not alone, the story was the relationship was happy even sometimes obvious it wasn't and I was not, denial, justification and control. Also control of my own feelings and clear intuition and logical deduction. And I used this strategy with some of my friends and jobs. I am still learning now not to project and also choose better goals, and take in change on a day by day approach. Because i am actually quite good at adapting to change- a career in research developed that part and gives more opportunities to discover myself. After all safety is not the absence of change- that actually is stagnation.