I am lacking trust. For several months I have been stressing out about how to be more happy and feel more creative and free. I tried many ways to solve this at at any giving point I did not see that in order to be that I need to trust myself. Because I do know what makes me free and happy, but I second and third guess myself until I even forget what was the first thought solution. And I get stressed and after I get sick. Hm. I find hard to express my feelings and feel totally embarrassed to say sometimes how grateful I am to different people in my life. Guess most of my posts here have the root in my lack of trust.
I have no easy solution for it. I am back on meditating and on emptying my mind to focus on the moment and day and to see where my thoughts jump. Jump to self criticism, blockage future or past projections. I make an effort to say what I think and feel. Sometimes goes better sometimes not, but I will keep going. Eventually will become a reflex.