Once I was asked why I was going about my life in circles? I did not even realize it before that question and had no idea why. The answer come yesterday after many months, I do it because by healing me I hope to achieve my mom's approval. My mom was always critical of me and I was never good enough for her. As constructive as that felt for her, for me was painful, a pain that I buried inside and followed me all the time. I felt unlovable, strange, weird and not worthy of love so I chose partners that did not really like me. I don't blame my mom for doing so, that is her definition of love. And by realizing it I could finally stop it. “Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.” Jose Ortega y Gasset. I feel this quote. Because now I know I am worthy and beautiful and powerful. And more honest, vulnerable and authentic than ever before. I feel grateful for all the people, circumstances and healing that brought me here. The circle is closed now. I am home inside my soul and my mission.
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